My Beauty Secrets

I saw a comedy show performed at another college last night, and it reminded me of how retarded most people are.  I really am better than everyone else in the world.  It's going to be hard to procreate because I don't think it's possible to find another human being that even remotely lives up to my greatness.  Did you see that last sentence?  Most people confuse its and it's, but I remembered the apostrophe.  Even my grammar is impeccable.  Many disciples have followed my for years, desiring the secret of my greatness.  I suppose it's time for the big reveal.

I only eat semen.