Clothing: Just because you’re a little broke doesn’t mean you can’t express yourself.
Gay Men: Don’t waste valuable money buying the newest, coolest gay wear. Either steal clothing from the homes of your one night stands or become a hipster. This way, you can get by wearing outdated styles ironically and can take advantage of Goodwill and other very cheap clothing options while still looking fabulous.
Lesbians: Don’t change. Wifebeaters are very cheap, and the Doc Martens you bought four years ago will last you at least another six. You already never wear a bra, so why start now?
Staying Fit: Keeping that hot body is definitely an important part of getting sweet lovin’, but gym memberships are pretty expensive. All you really need is a little bit of creativity.
Gay Men: Go to a conservative neighborhood near you in your most flamboyant clothing. Spend thirty minutes to an hour running from the people who chase you while hurling insults and bottles at you. This is a great cardiovascular workout, no gym membership required!
Lesbians: Your construction job probably already takes care of this. Way to think ahead.
And if all else fails, just stay in Binghamton. After you’ve hooked up with the other four gay people in your relative age range, you have virtually no chance of meeting new partners anyway. Problem solved!
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